Soo…
Posted by Danni on January 23rd, 2010
I have a new agreement with Johan. I’m not going to try and commit suicide unless I can’t get treatment, or the treatment doesn’t work.
The exact terms are these:
I won’t kill myself unless the treatment team I’m seeing on Tuesday say they can’t help (and that they won’t refer me to someone else, or a therapeutic community or something).
I also am giving the treatment team 6 months. If by then they haven’t helped, they have no ideas on how to help, and they refuse to refer me to someone else/therapeutic community or something, then I am allowed to kill myself.
This doesn’t mean I’m any better than I was, other than seeing that I’ve got to give them a chance. The pain is still unbearable, I still very much want to be dead rather than alive, I still want to kill myself… I’m just not going to. I’d been thinking about it for a few days, and this is what I came up with.
I still need a break, as does Johan. I still need a lot of help, with day to day life as well as sorting my head out. The only difference is I now have some sort of plan. Now I just need to cope with it.
January 23rd, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Remember kids! It’s down the road, not across the street!
January 23rd, 2010 at 2:25 pm
which theraputic community are you wanting to be in? I know a lot of leaders of TC’s and have a lot of contacts, so if i can be of any use please let me know
x
January 23rd, 2010 at 9:22 pm
Dr Viking did say that he would refer you to the therapeutic community if things didn’t work out with the community team, so you could always just speak to him if the team won’t give you the referral or are unable to provide other help. I think things are looking more hopeful than they’ve been for a while. At least you have a treatment team now, and a plan of your own.
I’m exhausted at the moment, and struggling to implement my new eating plan, but once I’m feeling better I would be happy to come over and give Johan some time to catch up on sleep etc. *squish*
January 24th, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Anyonymous Coward, you disgust me. The wise speak only of what they knw, and if you know what had happened and is happening to Danni, you wouldn’t say things like that.
Danni *hugs and prayers*
March 2nd, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Why would you kill yourself? You’re not the one who deserves to die……….if anyone deserves that it’s all the ppl in your life who have doubted you, bullied you, and generally been rubbish to you. I doubt Sammie would fancy a life without mom…………
The Integral, who understands deep depression very well and sends squishes from all of us